Posts tagged orthodox
On Failure

After Orthodox, even going around the world multiple times, playing on TV, and having a Top 5 Rock song, I still felt like a complete failure. Instead of seeing that I started with literally nothing, and got from A to B, I was more concerned I didn’t get from A to G. All I could see was what I didn’t have & what I didn’t accomplish. It wrecked me for months. One day, after a vocal lesson with Katy Riggs, I was sitting in gridlock in Hancock Park, surrounded by massive houses & palm trees, when I realized, this is it. This is as bad as “failure” gets. No one is going to get out of their car & scream at me, calling me a loser, & holding up a handmade sign saying I failed. No one cares. Your "failure" is just as bad as the hardest time you give yourself. As soon as I forgave myself and allowed myself to move on, my feelings & the idea of failure was gone. In that moment, or any moment, I could decide to change how I saw it. When you realize failure is just a hard time you give yourself, and nothing external, it’s total freedom.